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Stop Doing It All: Let Kids Pitch In and Grow Up

Writer's picture: Justin LyonsJustin Lyons

"Cleaning and organizing is a practice, not a project." — Meagan Francis



I cannot begin to tell you how many parents I hear complain about their children's independence (although I guess this is, in fact, me being able to begin). It seems like in these modern times, many parents are struggling with being servants for their children. On a daily basis, I will hear at least one parent complain that their kid(s) does nothing for themselves, have no idea how to stay organized, have no motivation, or need to be spoken to multiple times before they do what the parent asks. Many times, they worry their kid acts too entitled and require way too much parental involvement to do EVERYTHING for them and get anything done.


Well, I have one part of a solution for you that may help change this! It starts with giving kids chores. Chores are more than helping keep a house clean, it teaches kids to take responsibility, builds confidence, discipline and resilience. Do not think that your kid is incapable of taking on chores either.... this is a common misconception! If you read further down, I provide you with a general idea of the ages kids can begin certain chores. Keep in mind, these guidelines are established based on typical development. If your child may struggle with completing chores based on a physical or mental disability, this does not mean that you cannot ask them to complete chores. Chores can be modified to help those children get them done. There can be assistive technology used to improve independence and their ability to complete Activities of Daily Life (ADL's) or Instrumental Activities of Daily Life (IADL's. For example, managing chores, managing medications, schedules, meal prep, etc.)


Below is a general guideline to the chores your kid can do, depending on their age. This is also a general guide, where many kids can perform these chores at younger ages than suggested.


Ages 2-3:

  • Put toys away: Helps with understanding categories.

  • Put clothes in a hamper: Promotes responsibility.

  • Wipe up spills: Simple cleaning tasks to develop coordination.

  • Help feed pets: Simple actions like pouring food.

  • Throw away trash: Basic tidying skills.


Ages 4-5:

  • Make the bed: Establishes morning routines.

  • Set and clear the table: Encourages meal-time cooperation.

  • Match socks or fold small towels: Fine motor development.

  • Water plants: Nurtures responsibility and routine.

  • Help with grocery bag unpacking: Basic sorting and carrying.


Ages 6-7:

  • Sweep or dust: Improves coordination and attention to detail.

  • Put away laundry: Builds sorting and organizing skills.

  • Help make simple snacks: Encourages independence and kitchen safety.

  • Feed pets or brush them: Encourages empathy and responsibility.


Ages 8-9:

  • Vacuum or mop floors: Develops awareness of larger tasks.

  • Make simple meals: Safety awareness and following basic recipes.

  • Take out the trash: Building consistent routines.

  • Load/unload the dishwasher: Improves spatial awareness and responsibility.


Ages 10-12:

  • Mow the lawn (with supervision): Teaches patience and responsibility.

  • Fold and put away laundry: Focus on organizing and detail.

  • Wash dishes or help wash a car: Emphasizes care and thoroughness.

  • Organize personal spaces (e.g., desk, closet): Builds independence.


Ages 13-15:

  • Cook simple meals independently: Enhances life skills and confidence.

  • Clean bathrooms or windows: Focus on responsibility and attention to detail.

  • Do laundry (start to finish): Instills independence.

  • Manage small budgets for groceries: Introduces financial literacy.


Ages 16+:

  • Drive or bike to run errands: Builds autonomy.

  • Plan and cook family meals: Develops planning skills and responsibility.

  • Babysit younger siblings: Builds empathy and caregiving skills.

  • Manage personal schedule and responsibilities: Encourages maturity and self-discipline.




Make sure you encourage your child to do chores! I also suggest making exercise or physical activity another chore on their list of things to do. From all of my personal and professional experiences in life, I have come to learn that the way your life goes is heavily dependent on your habits and routines. This is why chores can be so impactful. For many of us who are successful in our endeavors, we quickly learn that the rise to the top usually involves a ton of moments and tasks that we just simply do no want to do, or find tedious. When we learn how to manage doing the boring and mundane tasks because we are disciplined, we understand that the end goal becomes realized by doing things we do not want to do, but that we need to do.....


Also, as a side note- if you are a type A parent, or a control freak and hate when someone else takes on a chore or task because you do not like the way we they do it..... you have 3 options. 1) teach your kid the right way to do it and take time in the beginning of teaching them the skill to help them master it 2) Try to learn to let go of perfectionist ideals or 3) keep doing the chores for them and forever remain their servant until they move out of the house..... As Master Splinter use to say often to those wild Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, "The choice is yours and yours alone".

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