Growing Pains – The Beauty of a Growth Mindset
- Justin Lyons
- Aug 6
- 3 min read
Growth mindset isn’t toxic positivity. It’s radical resilience.
Growth Is Messy—And That’s Exactly Why It Matters
We live in a world that praises highlight reels, quick success, and effortless talent. But real growth? It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. And it doesn’t come with instant results.
As a coach who works with young adults navigating transitions—from education to early career to identity—I’ve seen how common it is to feel like you're “behind” or “not good enough.” But here’s the truth:
You’re not behind. You’re just learning. And learning takes time.
A growth mindset isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about believing that effort creates change—and that every challenge is a stepping stone, not a stop sign.
What Is a Growth Mindset, Really?
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck, who coined the term, defines a growth mindset as the belief that your abilities can be developed through dedication, effort, and learning. This is different from a fixed mindset, which assumes your intelligence, talents, or personality are static.
When you shift into a growth mindset, failure becomes feedback. And trying something hard becomes a courageous act—not a threat to your worth.
Mindset Shifts That Matter
Let’s break it down. Here’s how growth mindset shows up in real life:
1. From “I can’t do it” → “I can’t do it yet”
That tiny word yet adds space for development. It keeps the door open for learning.
2. From “I failed” → “I’m figuring it out”
Failure isn’t final—it’s data. When we reflect on what didn’t work, we get closer to what will.
3. From “I’m just not good at this” → “I’m still building this skill”
This removes shame and introduces self-compassion. You are allowed to be a beginner.
4. From “If I don’t get it right, I’m not good enough” → “If I keep practicing, I’ll get closer”
Perfection isn’t the goal—progress is.
Why It’s So Hard to Embrace Growth
For many young adults, setbacks feel like personal failures—not part of the journey. That’s because school, social media, and society often reward instant success.
We were taught that grades measure intelligence, praise equals worth, and failure is shameful. But now, as you start building your own path, it’s time to unlearn those rules.
Practical Ways to Build a Growth Mindset
1. Practice “Learning Out Loud”
Share your process—not just your wins.
2. Keep a Mistake Journal
Write down one mistake per week—and what it taught you. Over time, you’ll notice how these missteps became milestones.
3. Reframe Feedback
Instead of feeling attacked when someone offers critique, pause.
4. Use Encouraging Language
Swap “I failed” with “I’m in process. ”Swap “This is too hard” with “I’m building my capacity.”
Language is powerful. Make it work for you, not against you.
Mindset Shift in Action: A Real-Life Example
One of the young adults I worked with was struggling with job interviews. After several rejections, they began to internalize the idea that they “just weren’t cut out” for the career they wanted.
We explored the process together:
What questions tripped them up? What feedback could they use?
They revised their answers, practiced again, and learned how to ground themselves before interviews. A month later, they landed a role—not just because they were “good enough,” but because they grew into it.
That’s growth mindset in motion.
Reflective Prompts
What’s one mistake that ended up teaching me something valuable?
Where in my life am I holding onto a fixed mindset?
What new skill or belief could I grow into with patience and practice?
You were never meant to be perfect. You were meant to grow. And growth is supposed to feel uncomfortable—it means you're expanding, evolving, becoming.
Don’t let the fear of looking foolish keep you from starting. Everyone you admire was once a beginner too.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt or afraid of failing? You’re not alone. I support young adults in rewriting their internal narratives and building the mindset tools to navigate change with courage and clarity. Let’s explore what’s next for you.
Start your growth journey at www.specialconnectsllc.com or email me at specialconnectsllc@gmail.com. You’re not falling behind—you’re just beginning to bloom.
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